i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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