nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
