We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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