I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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