Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
