i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it because I queefed?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
