If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
