Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
