I think I am morally bankrupt
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
