im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
