Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
