Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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