First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
