youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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