I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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