The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
