Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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