And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
