Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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