I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
