Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
