Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
