Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
