I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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