You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
