If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
