I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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