He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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