We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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