should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
