I'm at about main and main street
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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