My hand turned me down
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
