I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
