Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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