FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
