taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
