Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
