why didn't you poke me back
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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