is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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