did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
