Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
