I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You pole danced in your parka.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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