Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
