Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
