I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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