My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
