Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
