How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
