Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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