I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
