Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
