i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
